Thoughts on the reigning technological cult

Everywhere you look these days, electronic devices are invading human life: computers, laptops, tablets, smart phones, dumb phones, MP3 players, Blu-Ray players, etc., etc.. The list is endless. I remember not so long ago (but long enough to make me uncomfortably aware of the march of time) when a time with MP3 players, particularly iPods were just emerging as the epitome of cool in classrooms and malls everywhere. By that time I was in high school and authority figures in charge of children were having enough trouble getting control of cell phone use to be overly concerned with the coming tide of portable technology. Just abut the time iPods hit the adolescent scene, I had only just gotten over my envy of everyone else's much fancier portable CD players. In fact, I thought I would be part of the early adopter crowd of a new technology that would be become ubiquitous: the minidisc. Although the minidisc did enable me to put up to 4 hours(!) of MP3s on a single disc, the technology never really even achieved being in the general awareness of the populace. It was, I think, a matter of poor timing because not long after minidisc players became more widely available, MP3 players washed ashore and devastated everything in their wake.

The rise of the iPod (which I use here to refer generally to all MP3 players, both ubiquitous and rare), was the beginning of a landslide of portable electronic devices that would occur, taking over for outdated and bulky technologies and permanently altering everyday life and human interactions. At this time laptops were beginning to become more powerful, lighter, and smaller, making the idea of lugging one around on a regular basis almost conceivable. Cell phones began to transition from being merely phones to being music players as well as personal schedulers vis a vis the Blackberry. Wifi became prevalent and widely accessible, and technology began to cut cords out as much as possible. And all the while, devices were getting smaller, more powerful, and more integral to modern life. Indeed, by the time I was in college, trying to meet someone without the use of a cell phone left you feeling stranded, helpless, and alone.  And less than a decade later we arrive at the present with smart phones and tablets largely replacing the everyday use of computers or laptops, the general inability to witness life events with our own eyes rather than through a small screen, and the introduction of internet addiction disorder to the DSM-V.

My purpose, however, is not to examine the alarming impact of technology on humans, but to explain my preference of one group over another. The Mac vs PC rivalry existed long before those TV commercials put a face to the stereotypes and brought the issue to the general public's attention. In the past decade or so, however, Mac has achieved unprecedented popularity and, in my humble opinion, created a cult (whether intentional or not we will ignore for the moment). I personally am a PC person. I was raised on PCs and so obviously have a bias, but in my limited experience with Macs I have never found them intuitive or easy to use or frankly anything but frustrating. My feelings toward the company used to be much more neutral than they are at present. I will not deny that Mac products, while exorbitantly priced, do appear to be of good quality, can be useful, and reliable. The company as a whole has brought many innovative products to the market and is a leader in portable technology.

Fitzy and my apparent dinosaur

Where I take issue with Apple as a company is not with the products themselves, but rather with the frequency with which they bring out new versions of products and the brief duration of support of their products. Apple has attained cult status with people lining up for hours eagerly awaiting the debut of every new (or new variation) of their products. The frequency of their debuting products encourages materialism, particular among the most devout of their followers and an unpardonable generation of electronic waste as devices that are perhaps 1 or 2 years old are replaced with the latest and greatest. Of course, I was willing to tolerate the follies of Apple fandom before I was personally affected by the company's character. I received a 1st generation iPad upon starting medical school in the fall of 2010, just a few short months after its release in April of that year. As it was a gift, I determinedly used it in school. While I am not the best about updating my electronic devices as promptly as I should, you can imagine my surprise when last year I attempted to update my iPad after finding many of my apps no longer worked properly only to find that Apple no longer supported my device! And not only that, but that they had ceased to support the 1st generation iPad in the fall of 2012, just over two years after its release! I continue to struggle on with my 3.5 year-old iPad with its poorly functioning (or in many cases non-functioning) apps and frequent crashes because, call me old fashioned, but I do not think that one should be expected to replace a $500+ device after so short of time as two years.

Why do I bring this up now? This past week, Microsoft announced that it will no longer support its Windows XP operating system which was originally released in 2001, nearly 12 years ago. I could not help but notice the stark contrast between a company supporting a product for 12 years and one that supports a product for 2 years. I understand that newer versions of the iPad have many features that the original does not such as a camera, microphone, ability to Face Chat (is that one word or two?), etc., but the lack of these features does not make the original iPad any less useful of a device for those who are not bothered by its deficiencies. While the lack of these new features certainly contributed to the decision to cease to support the first generation iPad, this stodgy old PC user cannot quite accept a turnover time of 2 years when accustomed to potentially six times as long.

RIP Windows XP. Here's hoping for another 12 years of Windows 7 (and hopefully by then the horrors of Windows 8 will have been improved, though I have my doubts).

Fortunately, there are so many other things to distract me from such frustrations as these.

Dark Chocolate Cupcakes with Coffee Buttercream

And so it seems I am going to be a pediatrician after all! I've spent so much time, energy, and brain capacity agonizing over  The Match the past two years I hardly know what to do with myself now. Years of work and planning and countless hours of anxiety, stress, and feelings of unworthiness culminate on this single day. And in a matter of moments it's all over, the future is set, the unknowns and what-ifs disappear. It is both calming and unsettling all at once.

Match Day has become ritualized at most medical schools across the country. In general, they fall into one of two camps. In one camp students will gather and open their envelopes all at the same time, celebrating together but preserving the privacy of reading the contents of that envelope. The others make a ceremony of it, asking students to (voluntarily) open their envelopes before an adoring crowd of classmates and family and read the contents aloud. Which is the better way? I always thought I would prefer the first, but the latter does have it's redeeming qualities. While it is somewhat cruel to put students in the spotlight during such an emotionally charged life event, somehow the ceremony makes the day grander and more exciting. It's fun to see the each person's reaction. The key to the success of the ceremony, however, is the mutual agreement among students to participate for the benefit of everyone despite the discomfort. Attending the ceremony without reading your own envelope is taking advantage of the spectacle at the expense of the participants. My school does the ceremony and, yes, I got up and read my envelope. Leading up to the envelope opening, I was extremely anxious (complete with psychogenic chest and abdominal pain for nearly two days!), but it was fun to participate. It really wasn't that bad. I only wish that the 40% of my class who didn't participate had decided to make themselves a bit uncomfortable and join in as well.

Now that I'm in the truly best part of med school (or possibly my entire education), I've  had plenty of time to get back to baking and being human. These cupcakes are moist, chocolate-y, and the frosting will make caffeine-addicts swoon.

Vegan Chocolate Cupcakes (very slightly adapted from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World)

Ingredients

1 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup canola or vegetable oil
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup AP flour
1/3 cup dark chocolate cocoa powder (I used Hershey's special dark)
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Directions

Oven temp: 350 F  Bake time: 18-20 minutes

1. Preheat oven & prepare muffin pan

2. Whisk together almond milk and vinegar in large bowl. Set aside for a few minutes.

3. In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder and salt.

4. Add sugar, oil, and vanilla to almond milk mixture. Beat until foamy.

5. Add dry ingredients to the wet in two batches, beat until no large lumps remain.

6. Fill liners 3/4 full. Bake 18-20 minutes or until toothpick or knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool completely before frosting. 

Coffee Buttercream Frosting (not vegan)

1 1/2 Tbsp instant coffee granules (or 1 Starbucks Via packet)

1 1/2 Tbsp water

1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 1/2 c (3 sticks) unsalted butter, softened

3 c powdered sugar

3 Tbsp milk

1. Combine water, coffee and vanilla. Set aside.

2. Beat butter on medium speed until fluffy (1 min).

3. Decrease speed to low. Add powdered sugar in 3 batches, mixing in after each addition. Increase speed to medium, beat 2-3 minutes.

4. Add coffee mixture and milk. Beat on low to combine then increase to medium and beat 3-4 minutes.

My Misty

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. 

- Anatole France

Today my beloved pet, Misty, passed away to greener parks. She had been fighting for her life, most probably against a gastrointestinal cancer, for the past six weeks or so. Somehow knowing that her time was coming and that it would deliver her from pain and suffering has not made her passing any easier. When she came in to my life, a little white fluff ball with bright orange ears, we had just lost our first family pet, Muffy. In the midst of our family grief, my grandma found an ad in the newspaper for some poodle puppies. We piled in to my mom's van and drove down to one of the less inviting areas of town and that is where we first met Misty. I picked her out. She was hard to resist with an almost comical appearance, a feisty spirit in her eyes, and boundless energy. She sat on my lap on the way home and stuck her nose in front of the air conditioning vent as if it were the most glorious sensation on earth (and let's face it, in Fresno in the summer it pretty much is); she never did stop loving car AC vents. Although I was excited about our new puppy, once we got her home I didn't quite know what to think. She was playful, but tenaciously so; I was almost afraid of her eagerness and energy. As time went on, the exuberance of puppyhood mellowed into an energetic and companionable adolescence and young dog-hood. She loved jumping to catch balls in the air, playing fetch, going for walks, and chasing ducks in the backyard. Her unabashed delight in life frequently spoiled her elegant appearance such as when she would come inside with green legs after falling in the lake accidentally chasing a duck or when she would sheepishly attempt to hide her soggy paws after miscalculating a jump and falling in the pool. With her larger than life personality and intelligence, she became and integral part of our family, and it has been a wonderful 12 years of Misty Mocha Creme (can you tell I named her while I was in junior high and coffee culture was on the rise?).

In memory of my sweet, loving, persnickety little cuddle bug. I am grateful that you have been delivered from your struggles. Thank you for fighting so bravely. I hope you have lots of toys to rip open in the great beyond.


Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.
-Vicki Harrison

Reindeer Games and the Importance of Flour

Every year when the holidays come around I find my head (and my computer) overflowing with ideas of what I want to do this year for the holidays. Ideas collect throughout the whole year, are forgotten, are remembered, and occasionally I even attempt some of them! Some attempts are more successful than others. As you can see above, my Christmas kitty scarves were a success where as these reindeer cookies....

This is what we should look like!

 ....not so much.

And that, boys and girls, is why you should always be sure you have enough flour for your cookies before you start to make them. Don't be like me. Don't preheat the oven, make most of the dough, and prepare all the decorations only to realize you're 2-3 tablespoons short on flour. It doesn't end well.

Bonus tip from your local absent-minded med student baker: Don't forget the baking powder in your pancakes or they will be thick & dense instead of fluffy.

As always, I'm happy to provide these valuable life lessons any time, free of charge.

Happy pre-holiday time fun everyone!

Halloween Time in photos

It's all in the eyes

The Husband Unit has much better sticker placement skills than I do.

She's watching you

Maybe It's Fall?

 Since moving to southern California seven years ago, I have often heard it expressed by people that I am "so lucky" to live here. Such comments have been directed at me so many times that it must be true, but I still find myself wondering what exactly is there to be envious of? Maybe it's the weather. True, the weather here is nice and stable...and boring. When it is something other than sunny with clear skies, you would think the world had ended. Daily conversations & news media are full of excessively exaggerated reactions to rain and how terrible it is, the number of car accidents increase because rain makes native southern Californians twitchy and nervous on the road, and everyone you talk to will complain about the rain. (True story: One day while walking home in the rain in college, I overheard someone on their cell phone describe the weather as "the Apocalypse").

Or perhaps people envy the hustle & bustle of such a large and diverse population and the car culture of California. Because who doesn't enjoy sitting in bumper to bumper traffic at 5:30 in the morning. Or maybe it's because when it's a truly nice day, even by southern California standards, you can do something fun like go to the beach, an outdoor shopping mall (especially in western OC), or Disneyland...just like the other 14 million people. Or maybe it's the wild abandon with which air conditioning is used in such a way to showcase just how much money there is to throw away here. I mean when it's 70 degrees out who doesn't want to walk into a building Air conditioned to 55F? Nothing says luxury and style like torturing people with Raynaud's for going to work or the grocery store. If nothing else, living in southern California will maintain your sense of humor, because otherwise you'd go mad.

As for myself, I find that I spend more and more time each year in southern CA waiting and waiting for the change of seasons....and I always wind up disappointed. Two years ago, I spend an entire summer in San Diego waiting for a nice sunny summer morning only to meet with cloudy mornings all summer...and then summer was over and I was still waiting. This year, I have been waiting for fall to come. Last week, it finally felt like fall. The mornings had a crispness to them (which was enhanced by a day or two of rain that cleared all the smog out of the air) that returned in the evenings. And then two days later it was 90 degrees again. Nevertheless, I took full advantage of those two days by finally opening a can pumpkin and baking something with those wonderful fall flavors. I had originally planned on just making some oatmeal cookies for the Husband Unit for the day I got to see him in the past couple weeks, but then I thought it was a shame to waste the weather so I mixed in some pumpkin to make it more seasonally festive.

 

These cookies went over really well when I brought them in to my shift last weekend. I think when I make them again, I will add more of the spices; there wasn't quite enough flavor from the spices.

On Eating Cake

Today I am pretty impressed with myself because I have exercised for two days in a row! Oh dear, how far I've fallen. After spending almost 3 years getting back into shape towards the end of college/beginning of grad school, I completely derailed all of my hard work over the course of studying for step 1 and my first 3rd year rotation (surgery). To think only around a year and a half ago I was a bit exercise-crazy, running or working out nearly every day, and now it takes me a good 30 minutes to talk myself into getting off my butt, if I manage to at all. Given my natural tendency toward slothfulness (doesn't everybody?), I am not yet at the point where I turn to exercise when I have a bad day or am feeling down instead of curling up in a ball with a blanket and that makes getting back to where I was really difficult.

Of course I'm going to lay on your nice clean naked bed. I'm a cat, it's what I do

Over the course of the past year as my exercise habits have fallen off a cliff never to be seen again, I've come to appreciate the importance of convenience and of having an exercise buddy. When I moved to my new apartment last year, I lost my comfortable routine of running a short distance uphill to the fields behind the gym, then doing a body weight workout, and finishing up with an easy jog or walk downhill back to my apartment. I also lost my running loop route that I had become so comfortable with when I moved. Initially, it took me weeks to get comfortable running by myself in the area around my new place or even using the gym at the apartment complex. I also had to learn how to do my body weight workouts in my living room (and ignore the fact that I'm sure my down stairs neighbors really do not appreciate the jumping) as there is not a suitable outdoor space nearby nor enough room in the small gym. When I moved I also lost perhaps the most important driving force behind my  previously healthy, wonderful exercise habits, namely, my exercise buddy to hold me accountable and goad me into working out even on days I'd rather sink into the couch never to be seen again.

Tiger Lily says, "Mommy, I don't mind that it takes you a week to do laundry after you've sorted it. It's comfy."

Unlike the Husband Unit, I do not derive pleasure from exercising, nor have I found it to be an indispensable part of my day for most of my life. Now that I have experienced both the lazy extreme and the active extreme (by my standards anyway), I will concede that I feel better, sleep better, & focus better when I am more active (something I would never have believed if you asked me in college!). And so, I am starting the long and slow road of returning to a more active pattern of life. I've seen countless lists of reasons to exercise floating around the interwebs. As for me, my reasons are these: to sleep better, to focus better, to feel better, to keep the inevitable age-related weight gain at a minimum, to feel more confident, to be able to be the kind of parent I want to be someday, to not become those patients that make me inwardly cringe, to make my husband happy, to feel sore the next day, to feel accomplished, and, perhaps most importantly, to eat cake and not feel guilty about it!

Mmmm one year-old cake.

Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband!

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
                                                                   -Louis de Bernieres, Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Extra Chewy Four Ingredient Nutella Cookies

It's the weekend! Specifically, it's my last weekend before I must go back to the drudgery of 3rd year, say good bye to the delightfully non-stressful world of hematopath, and, on a happier note, my bestest (yes, that is most definitely a word) best friend visited me tonight! Not to mention my anniversary is on Monday (where does the time go?) and the Husband Unit has alluded to some sort of surprise that will be occurring this weekend. All in all, not a bad start to the weekend.

I feel rather compelled to share these cookies as I ended up making them 4 times within the course of little more than a week around the end of my surgery rotation. First I made them for my team and the Husband Unit asked if I could make some extra for his team. These apparently went over so well that he requested I make them again the next day and yet again the week after that. These are Nutella cookies, but those rare individuals who are not fond of Nutella will like them (I have a witness!), though not as enthusiastically as Nutella lovers.



I love these cookies not only because they are rich, chocolately and chewy, but also because they are simple and can be made, baked and everything, within 20 minutes. Perfect for people who have no time to bake. Trust me, it is 20 minutes well spent (though your waistline may disagree).

 Extra Chewy Four Ingredient Nutella Cookies

Adapted from A Busy Nest
Oven temp: 350 F |  Baking time: 8-10 min  |  Makes 20-24 small cookies

 Ingredients

1 c flour
1 c Nutella (be sure to spray the measuring cup with cooking spray before hand)
1 egg
1/4 to 1/2 c chocolate chips (optional)
sugar, for rolling cookies prior to baking (optional)

Directions

1.  Preheat oven to 350 F. Line a baking sheet with a silicone mat or parchment paper (or nothing)
2. Combine flour, Nutella & egg in a mixing bowl. Mix until combined.
3. Fold in chocolate chips, if using.
4. Roll dough into roughly 1 in. balls. If desired, roll in a bowl of sugar to coat before placing on sheet. Press down the balls of dough with a fork or bottom of glass lightly.
5. Bake 8-10 min. Remove from oven & let cool at least 5 min. before removing to wire cooling rack. Cookies will harden as they cool. 

See? Even the kitties agree. These cookies are delicious....or at least intriguing.

Maple Pecan Scones

As might be imagined, my cooking, baking, cleaning, dish washing, general tasks of daily living productivity took a serious hit while I was studying for Step 1. It's not so much that I had no desire as that I lacked the time and energy. The Husband Unit gave me The Pioneer Woman Cooks as a sort of congratulations on finishing up classes surprise gift way back in February/March. As he can attest to, I look at her website all the time and had been wanting her cookbook for quite awhile. While I was studying, I would occasionally flip through the book while I was taking a break (for lunch, for example) and picked out some recipes that I wanted to try sooner rather than later. There is a recipe in there fore maple pecan scones that I have been wanting to make for about two months now and this weekend I finally made it (and used the cute little mini-scone pan I got for my birthday, too). It was definitely worth the wait.

 The scones are delicious on their own, but the maple icing is, well, the icing on the cake...or rather scone.

 Yes, I do love sloths in case that wasn't obvious....

but don't worry, I'm only like Kristen Bell about puppies.

Maple Pecan Scones

From The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes From an Accidental Country Girl

 Pecan Scones

• 3 c AP flour
• 1/3 c sugar
• 5 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt (leave it out or use less if using salted butter)
• 2 sticks butter, chilled
• 1/4 c pecans, chopped
• 1 egg
• 3/4 cup heavy cream (I used half & half)

 1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
2. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder & salt. Cut butter into the flour mix with a pastry blender (or I suppose you could use a food processor) until a crumbly mixture is achieved. 
3. Finely chop the pecans and stir into the flour mixture.
4. In a small bowl/measuring dish, mix the egg & cream together. Add this to the flour mixture and stir until just combined.
5. Either prepare the dough the usual way for scones (gently roll it out to 3/4 in thickness and cut into shape) or press the dough gently into a scone pan. Bake for 22-26 min or until just barely starting to brown. I used a mini-scone pan and only ended up baking mine for 10-12 min.


Maple Icing
1/2 batch

• 1/2 lb powdered sugar
• 1/8 c milk
• 2 tbsp butter, melted
• a tad bit of coffee
• dash of salt
• 1 tsp maple flavoring/extract

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix until smooth. Pour over completely cooled scones and allow to set for several minutes.  

 

  

Life s/p Step 1

I am happy to report that there is life after Step 1. Only six months ago, I had trouble thinking of my life beyond the end of April and now I am starting my first rotation, surgery, tomorrow! I am excited but also terrified and intimidated and worried about how to not be the wallflower I have been for the past quarter of a century this year.

Shortly before I actually took Step 1, we welcomed this lovely little furr ball into our family.

 We were originally told that she was a he and I was quite ecstatic that the Husband Unit agreed to name him Fitzwilliam (after Mr. Darcy, of course). After a week or two, however, it became apparent that little Fitzwilliam was more of a Fitzwilliama so she is now affectionately referred to as Fitz or Fitzy. Cats have never really been my thing, but having had Fitzy since she was 7 weeks old, I completely adore her. She is the most mellow kitty (except when she wants food or when you're trying to eat). She loves attention, loves to be petted, loves to be held, and will let you do pretty much anything.

Just a little over a week ago, we decided that Fitz might be a little lonely, especially since we will both be gone for long hours during the day. After much searching, we brought a second little kitten into our lives.

We have named her Tiger Lily (since she is supposedly a girl despite the characteristically male coloring). She is quite the character! She plays almost like a puppy or a dog, loves to sleep on us and be near us, but will protest quite loudly whenever she is picked up. She also is a fan of perching on shoulders (parakitty?), which while occasionally painful is quite adorable.

Despite never previously envisioning cats in my life, I am head over heels in love with our kitties. They are a joy to wake up to every morning and to come home and play with every night. I have missed having pets for the past 6-7 years, but the gap is quickly being filled in.

After my exam, I spent a week in Costa Rica with my mom and had much more fun than I anticipated. The country is beautiful and full of all sorts of animals I never thought I would see outside of a zoo. I was introduced to Costa Rican culture and quickly became cognizant of the fact that Central (& South) American cultures are quite varied despite the similarities. One of the things that surprised me the most was that the food was really quite bland in terms of spices; I guess I was subconsciously expecting it to be more like Mexican food.

 Fun Fact - In Costa Rica it rains too much (85-185 in. annually depending on which part of the country) to bury the deceased underground (no one really likes bodies floating up to the surface). Consequently they bury everyone above ground in cement/tile structures that look like this. After 7-10 years the bones are removed and placed somewhere else regardless if the plot is owned or rented. Cremation seems like a sensible alternative, but it is too expensive for most people to afford in CR.

 So many kinds of flowers!

 Sunrise over the Caribbean Sea.

 Jungle Cruise, anyone?

 When it rains, it pours....but only for a little bit and then it clears up for a bit until the next drenching.

 I still remember learning about poison dart frogs in kindergarten during our rain forest unit. These little guys are tiny, about the size of the tip of a thumb.

 Arenal Volcano enshrouded in clouds.

 Suspension bridge in the rainforest canopy.

 Baby monkey riding on a pig, baby monkey! (Please note, remembering this video is what got me through all my wedding photos with a smile on. Life-altering video)

 A walk in the cloud forest

 Ziplining in the cloud forest. (Monteverde was my favorite place we visited)

 Macaws

 A toucan!

 Iguana (the Costa Rican equivalent of bison in Yellowstone)

and lastly, a sloth + baby sloth!!!! The animal I was most hoping to see in Costa Rica!! Look at that little baby arm & face.